Tips for Parents of School-Age Children

Tips for Parents of School-Age Children

You must be aware of your child’s worry and discomfort. Your child will try not to stutter. But the harder he tries, the worse the stuttering is apt to get.
You probably make remarks about your child’s stuttering from time to time. It is understandable for you to want to help. Perhaps you don’t find it easy to listen to the stuttering and would like it to stop. When you say or do something to help your child, you should observe carefully. If your help results in his becoming more relaxed and calm, you will be doing the right thing. His talking will get easier, too.
It is quite possible your child does not want to be helped when talking. Then it is no use trying to do so. He or she will only get more tense. (Maybe because he gets the message that he is not allowed to be imperfect?) The more the child tenses up, the harder it will be for the words to come through. Better than any stranger, parents know whether their child is tense or relaxed. That is why we ask for your help. Because you know your child best and can gauge his or her feelings, you give the most valuable support of all.
It is important to state that parents’ behavior never is the cause of stuttering. Your child was born with a hereditary tendency to stutter. This means the area of speech is a weak point in his general make up. Stuttering manifests itself when demands (in whatever area of life) become too heavy. This stuttering is harmless in itself. But if your child thinks others do not like his stuttering, he will try to talk “better” and to hide or stop the stuttering. That makes the stuttering worse, and it is the reason he still suffers because of it.
So remember you are not the cause of your child’s stuttering, but you are the nearest and best supporters on his road to talking more easily.Your child may feel angry as well as hurt and discouraged because of his speech problem. What he needs most are parents who allow him to be resentful or sad about it and who show they understand.
Perhaps your child does not yet have the courage to discuss it with you. But he or she does need to feel your tacit permission to do so. From time to time you may offhandedly ask what he thinks or feels about his stuttering. Make sure the child feels free not to take up the subject if he is not ready to do so. You may be very worried about your child’s future. Share your worries with each other and also with a speech therapist.
It is important for you as well as for your child not to go on worrying. So try to find competent help soon.
Stuttering manifests itself in so many different shapes and sizes that I can give no more than this general advice. Possibly your child is seldom or never tense, and you may find little of what I have said applicable. But if you feel worried and anxious just the same, do not hesitate to seek the help you and your child are entitled to.

These tips are from Sometimes I Just Stutter by Eelco de Geus.

The Stuttering Foundation has many excellent books and DVDs for parents of young children who stutter. Also visit our online store and library pages to see if your local library has these materials.

CELEBRITY FOCUS

Kenyon Martin

Kenyon Martin, the basketball sensation who was named to the NBA’s All Star Team in 2004, joins other famous people who stutter in a new brochure. The brochure - which unfolds into a small poster - is available free of charge from The Stuttering Foundation.

The poster is intended to give children and adults who stutter inspiration as they grapple with their speech disorder.

Bruce Willis

While the world knows Bruce Willis as an A-list actor, few know that he struggled with stuttering throughout his first 20 years.

Walter Bruce Willis was born in 1955 in West Germany to his German mother, Marlene, and his American GI father, David Willis. The family settled in David’s hometown of Penns Grove, New Jersey in 1957, and the couple has three other children.

Ken Venturi

As much of the nation watches the U.S. Open Golf Championship, it is impossible not to think about our late friend Ken Venturi. Ken overcame many challenges to win the Open at Congressional in 1964 and go on to become the voice of golf for more than three decades.

However, Ken faced no bigger obstacle than stuttering. Ken Venturi was a champion to those who stutter, going out of his way to share his personal experience when consulted by a colleague, friend, or child who stutters.

Bill Walton

From BillWalton.com

Thank you for your interest in my life long problem with my speech and communication skills. I was a very shy and reserved young man who could not speak at all without severely stuttering until I was 28 years old. Always a success in the classroom and on the basketball court, I took refuge in the things that I did well as a youngster. A straight A student, my athletic abilities covered the deficiencies that limited my overall growth and development. The game of basketball was my religion, the gym my church. It was a convenient way of avoiding my responsibilities of developing my human relation skills.

When I was 28, a chance encounter at a social event with Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Glickman completely changed my life in so many ways that things have never been the same since, nor have they ever been better. That day, in a very brief, private conversation (one way, mind you, since I literally could not speak at the time) Marty explained, patiently and concisely, that talking, communicating was a skill not a gift or a birthright and that like any skill, whether it be sports, music, business or whatever, needed to be developed over a lifetime of hard work, discipline, organization and practice. Marty gave me some simple tips that day and then encouraged me to take those keys and apply them to methods of learning that I had received from the special teachers that I had come across in my life, particularly the 6 Hall of Fame basketball coaches that I had played for throughout my career. The beginning of my whole new life was as simple as that. No gimmicks, tricks or shortcuts. Just the realization that with some help, guidance and a lot of hard work that I too could do what seemed so easy, simple and natural to everyone else, yet seemed impossibly out of my reach and comprehension.

Byron Pitts

Byron Pitts has brought much attention to stuttering with his memoir, Step Out on Nothing: How Faith and Family Helped Me Conquer Life’s Challenges, released in September, 2009. The book not only details his speech difficulties, but also his illiteracy until age 12 and his unstable family life. Pitts overcame the odds to become the chief national correspondent with ABC News.